It’s been eight years since I self-published my first romance book. In that time I’ve written ten books, rewrote four, and co-wrote a short story with a friend. Music City with The Belles was my first official book signing, and it left me speechless. I’m still not over it. Before this, I hadn’t attended a book event in over ten years.
Despite my colorful morning coffee talks on Instagram or the spicy books I write, I’m shy and rarely ever strike up a conversation first. Talking candidly like I try to now has taken so. much. time. and courage to get to this point. There are days I want to talk but I can’t open my mouth to. It’s not easy for me to just start gabbing. I trip over my words often. Sometimes I say things backward and it doesn’t make sense for a second. It bothers me when it happens and I get embarrassed easily by it. So going to a book signing where an estimated 800 readers were expected, the introvert in me was fit to be tied. Apart from that, the bullying over the Off Balance series really did a number on me that I was suddenly questioning why I ever agreed to a signing in the first place. The desire to meet readers was there, but I was an array of emotions, torn in opposite directions and an anxious mess all around.
In all honesty, I didn’t want to go to a book signing. I was too scared. The first signing I was supposed to attend required a meeting with security because of the cyberbullying over my books. My table had been deliberately placed by an exit door with a staff table in close range. My parents are in a real MC. There was a chapter close by and they had their own security in place. The fear was real.