It’s been eight years since I self-published my first romance book. In that time I’ve written ten books, rewrote four, and co-wrote a short story with a friend. Music City with The Belles was my first official book signing, and it left me speechless. I’m still not over it. Before this, I hadn’t attended a book event in over ten years.

Despite my colorful morning coffee talks on Instagram or the spicy books I write, I’m shy and rarely ever strike up a conversation first. Talking candidly like I try to now has taken so. much. time. and courage to get to this point. There’s days I want to talk but I can’t open my mouth to. It’s not easy for me to just start gabbing. I trip over my words often. Sometimes I say things backwards and it doesn’t make sense for a second. It bothers me when it happens and I get embarrassed easily from it. So going to a book signing where an estimated 800 readers were expected, the introvert in me was fit to be tied. Apart from that, the bullying over the Off Balance series really did a number on me that I was suddenly questioning why I ever agreed to a signing in the first place. The desire to meet readers was there, but I was an array of emotions, torn in opposite directions and an anxious mess all around. 

 

In all honesty, I didn’t want to go to a book signing. I was too scared. The first signing I was supposed to attend required a meeting with security because of the cyber bullying over my books. My table had been deliberately placed by an exit door with a staff table in close range. My parents are in a real MC. There was a chapter close by and they had their own security in place. The fear was real. ⁣

When I felt it was safe enough to come out, I found that I wanted to say thank you to every reader I could, and that I needed to do it in person.

 

Fast forward to the day of the signing. Things changed once the doors opened and the event started. My fears were suddenly gone and I didn’t have time to worry. All I could manage was a massive smile on my face. I was so so so damn happy to be there and could not believe I was finally chatting with readers in person. I was throwing out hugs as if I was a great friend I hadn’t seen in a while. My excitement over road any fear. The line at my table didn’t stop for nearly four hours straight. Crazy, I know. When it did slow down, I munched on Chick-fil-a with my assistant, Matti. I was overwhelmed in the best way possible, and I’m pretty sure she was too because we both sat in silence staring at nothing while we ate trying to process everything. It was so fucking cool! This was Matti’s first book signing as well. We’d prepared for it months in advance, talking on zoom about once a week. She handled it like a champ.  

Unfortunately, I didn’t end up taking many photos because any person I met walking around the hotel or at the book signing I was enthralled with that I wasn’t thinking about anything else. I was on another level. I felt like I was surrounded by greatness that I just wanted to soak it all in. I wish I’d thought to take more pictures! Next time I will.  

 

Thank you to every reader for making the trip to Nashville, and especially to those who came all the way just to meet me. I can’t believe you trekked across states to say hi. I feel like I had a deer in headlights look the entire time but seeing your faces was pure gratitude. It fascinates me how a fiction book has the power to bring two strangers together and make them besties. Hearing how my books have helped someone during a dark time has left an impact on me. 

 

It took some time, but once I stepped back and took my fears out of the equation, it allowed me to see that I have an incredible army of readers behind me who fiercely love my books. They are the ride or die, hard loving, stand their ground kind of readership that inspired me to muster up the strength to go to a book signing in the first place. Seeing your faces was pure gratitude. I guess that’s why I was throwing hugs out left and right now.  

 

Hugs = Love/Apprecaition/Gratitude 

 

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined my first book signing to turn out the way it did. I feel so blessed. It was a surreal moment after all the highs and lows that left me in a state of awe. Thank you for an amazing experience. It was humbling, and one I will never forget. But more importantly, thank you for allowing me to love my books again. Because for a while I didn’t.